Rants from the Crib

An Ob/Gyn gone mad

Paper Towel Holders

Our hospital recently demonstrated the great efficiency, logic and money conservation that is inherent in any health care system.  We have great need of many things.  For example, the phone in my work area is nonfunctional.  A physician really needs a phone within reach.  We have requested that phone I don’t know how many times.  For a while we had to wait until JCAHO came through.  Now, I don’t know what the excuse is. 

However, we had perfectly functional, perfectly normal paper towel holders that were not causing a bit of trouble.  On a list of things we need, new paper towel holders would be at the absolute bottom.  In fact, they would not be on the list at all.  So what did the hospital do?  They came through the ENTIRE HOSPITAL, all the clinics and inpatient and replaced ALL THE PAPER TOWEL HOLDERS.  Perfectly good paper towel dispensers.  Replaced for absolutely no reason.  Even better, the new paper towel dispensers SUCK.  They are one of those paper towel holders that have dire messages all over them:  “Pull with BOTH hands” and a dramatic x’d out picture of a single hand pulling a paper towel.  Because, God forbid we try to pull a towel out with one hand.  They are marked about as dramatically as land mines.  And the thing is, those signs make me WANT to pull out paper towels with one hand.  In fact, every time I use the damn things, I pull with one hand, just to spite the paper towel makers.  Sometimes they rip, and I expect a flashing buzzer to go off.  “Warning, warning!  Back AWAY from the towels!  They were pulled with one hand, oh my GOSH!” 

Most of the time I can get them out in one piece by pulling with one hand, and that is a personal triumph.  At any rate, I still don’t have a working phone, but by George, I’ve got “fancy” new paper towel holders!


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