Rants from the Crib

An Ob/Gyn gone mad

American Girl

What is the story with these American Girl dolls?  I don’t like dolls myself, never have, so these things have not been at the forefront of my conciousness.  At least not until my daughter went crazy over them and just had to have one.  She has been making secret phone calls to her grandmother requesting an American Girl doll ASAP.  I guess she knows I won’t be planning to buy her one unless forced to.  She has even been online on Amazon looking at dolls and prices.  She keeps hollering at her dad and me to hurry upstairs and look at “MacKensie” or some such thing.  We keep refusing.  She has been informed that no American Girl doll will be forthcoming until Christmas, and possibly not even then.  As I pointed out, last year she HAD to have a Baby Alive that wets because her cousin has one and they had a great time having that doll pee all over the bathroom.  She got the Baby Alive and played with it for like a week.  I happen to know that if $129 is spent on an American Girl doll, after a week it will sit on the floor of her bedroom and never be played with again.  Now she claims all sorts of wonderful things about these dolls:  you can get their ears pierced, you can buy clothes for them, they have distinct personalities and you can “collect all fifteen”.  Great.  That’s what we need, fifteen $129 American Girl dolls, all sitting unused on our daughter’s bedroom floor.  And as usual, she only wants one because the girls at school have them.  Just once, I would like her to want something because SHE found it and SHE wants it.  (I admit, there is one thing.  She loves the Lego Friends lego sets and puts them together all by herself.  Some of her friends have them but that’s not why she wants them.  She is totally protective of them and will not allow anyone to break them or take them apart.)  So I have a funny feeling that Grandmama will be buying her an American Girl doll for Christmas and I will have to put up with that hideous thing cluttering up my house.

So here is what I know about American Girl dolls:  there are about fifteen of them, you can get their ears pierced, they are supposed to each have their own personality and there is a multitude of extremely expensive clothes and accesories available for them.  In other words, the perfect racket for little kids:  there is always more to buy and always another new one coming out.  I can only imagine A begging for an “American Girl poncho” or some such cheesy thing, that is, if she is even interested enough in it to play with it at all.  I imagine she will beg for accessories in fits and starts, wheedle us into something, and then put the doll back down.  She will also beg to take the stupid thing to school.  One of her classmates actually told her she would give A her American Girl doll if A would give her half her brownie at lunch.  Really?  I am so sure that that girl’s parents would be thrilled to help her keep up her end of THAT bargain.  I told A she could forget about getting someone’s $129 doll for half a brownie.

So A has been making furtive phone calls to her grandmother to attempt to wheedle her out of one of these dolls.  The way Grandmama spoils this kid, I have a really strong feeling that A will be getting one for Christmas.  I can’t wait.    I am sure I will hate the thing even more in real life.  Especially when she is so much expensive debris cluttering up my house.  Ugh.  If anyone knows anything important about these dolls (like the creepy things come to life at night), please let me know so I can adjust my life accordingly.  Because one is coming.  It is just a matter of time.

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