(More Than) Ten Kinds Of Facebook Friends
1. Prints lyrics from songs inexplicably.
2. Launches diatribes against ex.
3. Posts multiple baby pictures daily even when there is dirty underwear in the background and you can barely see the baby.
4. Cuts and pastes dozens of tacky platitudes complete with unicorn pictures.
5. Is actually selling something.
6. Posts rabid fan pictures of favorite sports team and posts hate mail for rivals
7. Logs on once in a blue moon.
8. Uses Facebook like Google and asks questions.
9. Prints pet pictures, pet platitudes and pet adoption pictures.
10. Announces every move: what’s for dinner, who had a dirty diaper changed, waiting in line at Starbucks.
11. Posts hilarious jokes and cartoons. You await their every post.
12. Talks about how bad life is, and how depressed they are.
13. Prints never ending supply of hardline politics.
14. Plays Facebook games constantly and sends endless game requests.
15. Has the how-great-my-life-is syndrome and posts constantly enviable stories and photos.
16. Collects friends they hardly know like a dryer collects lint.
17. Posts daily pictures of themselves
18. Acts as a news service: Why that ambulance was on 10th street, why the cops were out on the bridge.
19. Posts drunken party pictures.
20. Picks fights.