Rants from the Crib

An Ob/Gyn gone mad

Elf On The Shelf

Elf on a Ceiling Fan

What a beautiful day.  Even though I’m on call this weekend, the weather is absolutely stunning – sunny and 66 degrees!  Good old Alabama.  Since it was so warm and lovely today, and I’m not too busy on call, I ran a bunch of errands.  The hubby and daughter have gone to Washington DC this weekend for a conference – it’s a good bit chillier up there.  I stopped by Verizon to see if they could figure out why my phone is spazzing out, the grocery store to get tons of new stuff for the Atkin’s diet the hubby and I are on, and to Books a Million to get an Elf on a Shelf for my daughter.  She has already deputized my Anne Geddes Santa baby to be her elf, but when she saw the sameness of the ones the other kids brought to school, she longed for a “real” one herself.  I had never intended to get her one of those elf-things; it requires way too much time to come up with stunts for the elf to do when I can barely get myself ready for work most days.  However, I bought the dang elf and hung it off the ceiling fan with three coat hangers.

When did this Elf on a Shelf thing start?  They definitely had no such thing when I was a kid.  In a way, they are a useful tradition – if your child is misbehaving you can just point menacingly at the elf and remind them that the elf will be reporting back to Santa.  Each night, you’re supposed to move the elf to somewhere creative while your child is sleeping.  I have had friends who scattered flour on the kitchen floor to make “elf-angels”, friends who have put the elves in the freezer because they miss the North Pole, and folks who have made the elf ride the family pet.  The story is, the elf goes back to the North Pole and reports on the child’s “goodness” to Santa.  Then it returns and gets up to some mischief in the house.  I saw a hilarious picture on Facebook – someone had pulled an “adult elf” move and placed the elf on the back seat of the toilet, dumping half a pack of birth control pills into the water.  I guess I will have to see what I can come up with for this elf thing – my daughter specifically asked Santa for a real one.  So we have one.  There you have it.

How many of you have elves for your children?  Can you share some elf mischief with me so I can borrow ideas?  I’m not sure I can come up with something new every day.  If I were a stay-at-home mom, like I wish I were, I would have more time to come up with ideas.  But I’ll do the best I can with the lazy little elf I have.  Maybe we can swap elf stories.


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7 thoughts on “Elf On The Shelf

  1. We aged out of the elf thing long before it ever took off, but I’d suggest hiding it in the cupboard with its hand in the cookie jar and strewing some crumbs around for effect. Or you could hang him on the Christmas tree with an unscrewed light bulb in his hand. OK, OK, how about this: sitting in your daughter’s chair at the table holding a sprig of mistletoe over his head!

    This is actually fun. I’m going to go get me and elf.

  2. AN elf. I’m going to get AN elf. Got so caught up in the prank planning, my internal spell check overloaded and blew.

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