Rants from the Crib

An Ob/Gyn gone mad

Things A Southerner Has Learned About Northern Winters

1.  It is very difficult to push the key’s unlock button for the car with thick gloves on.

2.  Ice is very slippery.  It strikes fear even into seasoned Northern winterers.  They describe a universal knuckle whitening clutch on the steering wheel when driving on fresh ice.

3.  Ice somehow can gradually disappear, even when temperatures remain below freezing.  I don’t know if it sublimates, if they put out chemicals that change the melting temperature of ice, or if the heat of the tires on blacktop eventually melt it.  Where does it go?

4.  As I may have mentioned before, soft drinks left in the trunk of the car explode, and make diet Coke-sicles that hang off the lid of the trunk.

5.  Weathermen are frequently wrong.

6.  A blizzard is almost more about the wind than about the snow.

7.  Scraping ice off your windshield is like scraping glass off of more glass.

8.  Your car windows freeze closed and you can’t open them.

9.  There are many different kinds of snow.

10. The wind will blow the hoods and hats right off your head.

11. The dry weather makes the blankets on your bed crackle with blue sparks.

12. They say the dry weather causes an increase in paper cuts.  I believe it.  I have the paper cuts to prove it.

13. You have to go through a careful checklist before leaving any building.  You have to have things that you need to access organized in your outerwear so you don’t have to fumble around looking for things with clumsy gloves in sub-zero temperatures.

14. If you dress correctly, you really don’t feel that cold.  Especially after scraping ice.


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9 thoughts on “Things A Southerner Has Learned About Northern Winters

  1. Good to know—Thanks for sharing this useful information.

  2. And the most important lesson, a la Christmas Story movie–NEVER stick your tongue to metal in a northern winter. It’ll stay there:)

  3. About the white-knuckled driving– what kind of car do you have? Smooth new ice is always scary, but all-wheel drive makes a HUGE difference with slush and that nasty packed-down snow. I had no idea that two-wheel drive cars were so scary until recently, and I can’t even tell you how glad I am to have an all-wheel drive car again.
    New-snow precuations with all-wheel drive: brake a bit sooner, take corners a little slower.
    New-snow precautions in tiny two-wheel drive car: don’t drive above 15 mph, start braking three times earlier than normal, still go into a minor skid every two blocks.

    • Since I am a travel doctor I am kind of at the mercy of the company that takes care of my travel arrangements. In North Dakota I had a tiny little Chevy Cruze and I felt pretty uncomfortable. At least it has a low profile. Here in South Dakota they got me a Ford Escape which is not great because it is a high profile vehicle and the wind is so bad.

  4. Nice to meet you North Dakota! From Liz in North Carolina!

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