Rants from the Crib

An Ob/Gyn gone mad

The Truth About The Myths Of Pregnancy

There is so much that your doctors don’t tell you about being pregnant, because they consider the information trivial and they just don’t have time in a busy clinic to go over little, normal stuff with you.

There are many things that your friends, family, and complete strangers WILL tell you.  A great deal of it is wrong.

The national hobby is scaring pregnant women.  As soon as someone finds out you are pregnant, they will immediately start telling you their worst horror stories, most of which are greatly exaggerated.  I find this strange, because if they found out you had, say, diabetes, they wouldn’t tell you horrible stories about having toes cut off, heart attacks, blindness, and arterial bypass grafts.  So why is it OK to say these things to pregnant women?  Actually it’s NOT.  But everyone will do it anyway.

People, usually other women, will tell you the stupidest, most ridiculous folktales about pregnancy.  You may, say, be reaching up to pull a book off a higher shelf, and a random person may walk up to you and say, “If you reach above your head, your baby will strangle.”  WTF?  That makes no sense at all.  And yet, I have gotten calls (usually at 3 AM) from sobbing mothers who have been convinced that getting soup out of the pantry has killed their baby.

If it sounds ridiculous, or impossible, it probably is.  Check with your doc if you’re concerned.  Just not at 3 AM, please.

They will also tell you that if you get in a swimming pool, the baby will drown.  Really?  Because that kid’s floating in a bag full of fluid right now.

They will tell you that if you eat pears, the baby will be affected somehow.

They will tell you if you have heartburn, the baby will have lots of hair.  How the hell can those be related?  Hint: they aren’t.

They will tell you that the heart rate can tell you the sex of the baby.  Bullshit.  The heart rate changes throughout the pregnancy.  Does that mean the sex of the baby keeps changing?  Uh, no.

They will tell you that whether you are “carrying the baby high or low ” determines the sex of the baby.  Not.

They will tell you about their horrible 72 hour labors.  They will tell you about how they felt everything in their C-section.  They will tell you about how they had surprise twins at the last minute.  They will tell you about a “dry birth”, whatever the hell that is.  Ignore these people.  They are not helping.  They are just trying to show off and make themselves look more important and special, that they survived these “horrific “situations.

Strangers will touch your belly.  Strangers will tell you they know the sex of the baby.  Strangers will tell you that you don’t look pregnant enough, that there is something wrong with the baby.  They will tell you that you look too big, and that you will have the baby early, or that there are secret twins in there.

News flash.  These people did not go to medical school.  They did not do a 4 year specialized residency.  They mostly just go to Walmart.  Apparently they bought their medical license there.

Do yourself a favor.  Do me a favor.  Ignore this crap.  Tell them to leave you alone.  They are NOT trying to help.  They are trying to scare you.  And it’s working.  Stop the madness.  Tell the back seat drivers to go bother someone else.  Or better yet, bother no one at all.


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6 thoughts on “The Truth About The Myths Of Pregnancy

  1. Your blog cracks me up. Thank you for calling these people out! I have had many pregnant friends that tell me all the crazy stories they’ve been told, and they even sound ridiculous and completely unfounded by any scientific research anywhere ever.

    And as their friend, it bothers me greatly when they are told horror stories by strangers, women who don’t know their story…because a lot of my friends have been struggling for years to get pregnant, to keep pregnancies longer than a few weeks. To be told by someone you met on the street that something is wrong with your baby because of the way you look makes that person downright inhumane and a terrible person.

    That Wal-Mart line, though…yeah, still laughing about that! Haha! You can buy anything at Wal-Mart these days…

  2. You must know nicer people than me. When I was diagnosed with hypertension, I was told by many folks online and off about how their cousin/aunt/sister’s husband/whoever got diagnosed with it and then had a bypass surgery X years later, or how their cousin died in the middle of the night from a stroke because he forgot to take his meds for a day. That one? Was told to me by an ER nurse when I went to the ER for chest pain (which was unrelated, thank God, and due to my stomach issues). You know, like you’re supposed to do to avoid a heart attack. Not to be scared half to death and have one anyway.

    People like to tell horror stories about everything, period. Pregnant women are for sure not the only ones who get this.

    • That’s hideous. I guess I mainly hear about the pregnancy stuff because that’s what I do. Maybe people have the sense not to say stuff like that around me because they know what I do.

      • Likely, and I’m definitely not saying pregnant women don’t get it – they do, in spades.

        I have never forgotten that nurse saying that to me. I was terrified, in a lot of pain, and very tired and anxious, and she looked me straight in the eyes and told me that if I missed a day of meds again (because I couldn’t afford to get the meds til that Friday and my pharmacist at the time wouldn’t give me any to tide me over), I’d be just like her cousin who “dropped dead” of a stroke in the middle of the night because he messed with his meds.

        I probably will die of a heart-related issue, if something else that runs in my family doesn’t kill me. But I’d rather live a good long time first and not have to think about it for years and years, you know?

  3. My daughter had a great response to a total stranger who started telling her that she almost died having her last child. She said “I’m sorry that happened to you, but now is not the time to tell it to me.”
    I have no horror stories. I got pregnant, enjoyed my pregnancies (OK I did have heartburn on that last one but that was not that bad) then I went into labor and had kids. Just like that. No drama. No problem! That’s what I tell pregnant women if I tell them anything at all.

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