Tonight, I am sad. I am on call, and I am all alone in the call room, which can be relaxing with a TV and a recliner and a couch and some beds in some sleep rooms, but I am well past relaxed and on to lonely. I have already delivered one baby today. The mama didn’t speak very much English, which didn’t lead to very much interaction in the delivery. It was her third baby and she only had to push a couple times, so it didn’t take very long. I have another baby on the way, but this lady is taking her time a bit. I am waiting on her to get her epidural so I can break her water, since contractions hurt so much more when the water is broken.
My loneliness was broken pleasantly by a visit from my husband and daughter, who joined me downstairs in the cafeteria for dinner. The cafeteria was actually closed, which was kind of lonely too, but they had brought barbecue from a nearby barbecue place and we had good chicken and turkey and salad. My daughter had a chicken leg and waved aloft some veins and pinkish meat from it to try to gross us out. Unfortunately, they didn’t get to stay all that long. My daughter was out of school for Martin Luther King Jr. Day today, but she has to go back to school tommorrow, so they have to go home and get her a shower and get her in bed.
I spent some pleasant time napping today here on the couch, and some time reading a book that turned out to be pretty depressing. It was a memoir (I’m in a memoir phase these days) about a woman who grew up with a pushy stage mother and a sister who died of alcoholism. When I finished the book I felt pretty stark. I wandered out to the Labor and Delivery desk in search of some company. I discovered that neither of my inductions were doing much. Hence the epidural and the breaking of the water.
I will sleep here tonight because this is a busy enough hospital service, with us taking care of the patients of seven doctors, that if I go home, I will surely be called back. I live quite a few miles from the hospital, and I do not enjoy the drive, day or night. Especially at night when I would rather be sleeping. That way, if someone comes screaming in in labor, they will not deliver the baby without me, because I will be here.
I also spent some time today texting my friend, who lives in a city not too far away. Her sixteen year old son impregnated a fourteen year old, and now they have a baby. They are not even dating anymore. My friend is concerned about the liability of statutory rape, since apparently the girl’s family is beyond pathologic and there is no telling what they may do. She is trying to spend time with her grandson (and she was SO not ready to be a grandmother) and make his life better. The girl’s family has apparently decided that my friend’s family is “rich”, so there is no telling what they may do to try to take advantage of what they see as free money. That kid has really gotten his mom into a lot of trouble. She is NOT happy.
I have eaten a large quantity of Atkin’s bars today, since I am on the Atkin’s diet. The barbecue chicken salad is the only real meal I have had all day. I have also had like four Diet Sierra Mists today. I just got a text from my husband – Target has Atkin’s bars CHEAP! I never even knew they had them. I’ve been there like, a million times. Very odd. He can pick some new ones up for us.
I missed seeing my daughter today. It was so good to see her for such a little while, put her on my lap, smell her hair, tickle and tease her. She is growing up so very fast. One of the main reasons I am leaving this very busy job is to be able to spend more time with her and my husband. I will work two weeks a month, then be off two weeks a month. Hopefully this arrangement will allow us to pay the bills. I am a little anxious about that. I will miss reading my daughter her bedtime story tonight. We have been reading a series of books that were great favorites of mine as a kid, the Great Brain series, about a family of boys in the 1890’s. One of the boys is a genius and a con artist and they get into all sorts of trouble. We have just gotten to a very exciting part where the hero’s little brother has been kidnapped by an outlaw, and they are trying to figure out how to save him. My daughter is very nervous, wondering if the little boy will be OK. Of course, he will.
I am about to head back out to the desk and check to see if that epidural is in. Then we can break some water and get some action going! Maybe I can get some sleep before we deliver. I am not certain if I am sleepy, but I will try to make myself sleepy in case I get kept up late tonight. Either way, tomorrow I have to drive across town to the other hospital, where my clinic is, and see patients all day. It is hard to do that when you have been up all night the night before. It makes you not too sympathetic to other people’s problems. Well – the call room phone is ringing – they say the patient is actually about to deliver now! Good thing I didn’t try to go out to eat!